So I cant seem to find the will power to NOT go out and smoke. I am down to about four or five smokes a day which is a great improvement from a half a pack a day! I still want to quit but I need to just stop smoking cold turkey. I have been cleaning and sitting on the computer, and reading anything to get my mind off smoking. So how come I am still finding the time to obsess over that cig I want so bad?
Stay motivated. Think of something else as soon as that smoke pops into your head! At least when it warms up I can go for walks with the kids. That will help.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Trying to Quit
So after nine years of smoking and numerous attempts at quitting, I am now determined to quit for good! Cigs are going up another buck, which means they will be almost 7 dollars a pack if not more. In a month I am starting all my dental work so I am setting that date for my goal.
I hate the battle that goes on inside of me when I start to crave a smoke and know that I CAN quit, but I just need a damn smoke! I know I can do it. I just have to keep putting off having a smoke, and eventually it will be a week, month, year, and I will no longer physically crave a smoke. I know I may never stop mentally craving them, but I NEED to quit. I dont want to be smoking when my kids are old enough to understand what I am doing and start to ask me about it. I dont want to stink like them anymore. I want to improve the health of my teeth and lungs. I am not happy about aging (not that anyone is) and smoking is just going to make me age faster. I want to be able to do physical activity without gasping for breath and I want to be free of this smoker's cough. I dont want to end up with a Barb's voice, she's a neighbor that seriously sounds like an old man, yet she is a woman!
So once again I am going to refer to the serenity prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference!
I hate the battle that goes on inside of me when I start to crave a smoke and know that I CAN quit, but I just need a damn smoke! I know I can do it. I just have to keep putting off having a smoke, and eventually it will be a week, month, year, and I will no longer physically crave a smoke. I know I may never stop mentally craving them, but I NEED to quit. I dont want to be smoking when my kids are old enough to understand what I am doing and start to ask me about it. I dont want to stink like them anymore. I want to improve the health of my teeth and lungs. I am not happy about aging (not that anyone is) and smoking is just going to make me age faster. I want to be able to do physical activity without gasping for breath and I want to be free of this smoker's cough. I dont want to end up with a Barb's voice, she's a neighbor that seriously sounds like an old man, yet she is a woman!
So once again I am going to refer to the serenity prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Snow is melting...
It has been a decent day for a Monday. I have already finished my research papers for tonights Group Facilitation Class. I ended up taking Michael to the doctor, he was still not walking on his foot. They did Xrays and he has no broken bones in his foot, so it must be a sprain. He is bandaged up and watching spongebob now.
I got to spend some time on my own. The sun is shining and its warm. I shipped off some V.C. Andrews books that I have been selling on ebay. I stopped off at goodwill and found some tank tops, a dress for manda, a book for michael, and a cute spring candy dish. I felt so refreshed after that- that I stopped off and cleaned out the Tempo alittle. Now I am back in my dark dungeon- the house has felt like that all winter. Hopefully the kids dont fight too much before I go off to class. I would like to stay in this nice mood.
I got to spend some time on my own. The sun is shining and its warm. I shipped off some V.C. Andrews books that I have been selling on ebay. I stopped off at goodwill and found some tank tops, a dress for manda, a book for michael, and a cute spring candy dish. I felt so refreshed after that- that I stopped off and cleaned out the Tempo alittle. Now I am back in my dark dungeon- the house has felt like that all winter. Hopefully the kids dont fight too much before I go off to class. I would like to stay in this nice mood.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Typical Day Through my ears
My son is 3 1/2 years old and this is a typical day from his mouth:
“I eat oatmeal”
“Faaag ahhh” have yet to figure out what that one meant.
“Baby did it”
“I help”
“You do it yourself”
“Emnade!” (you were asking for orange juice, I think you were trying to say Lemonade)
or "I want Wader-nade"
“Word Girl!”
“Big red dog”
“Nack” (snack)
“Rewind it”
“I write my name”
“Pull shoot” A nerf gun you had that you had to pull back then shoot
“I brush my teeth”
“I wash my hands”
“Hey Maaamaaa”
“Ummpah’s here” (Grandpa)
“Antie Leehaaa” (Antie Lisa)
“Yo phone ringing!”
“I eat oatmeal”
“Faaag ahhh” have yet to figure out what that one meant.
“Baby did it”
“I help”
“You do it yourself”
“Emnade!” (you were asking for orange juice, I think you were trying to say Lemonade)
or "I want Wader-nade"
“Word Girl!”
“Big red dog”
“Nack” (snack)
“Rewind it”
“I write my name”
“Pull shoot” A nerf gun you had that you had to pull back then shoot
“I brush my teeth”
“I wash my hands”
“Hey Maaamaaa”
“Ummpah’s here” (Grandpa)
“Antie Leehaaa” (Antie Lisa)
“Yo phone ringing!”
Nothing better to do today
Some days I just have nothing better to do than search the Internet for silly sayings or odd photos.
Here is my list:
- I’m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar.
I love poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday.
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Borrow money from a pessimist- they won’t expect it back.
A line is a dot that went for a walk.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
A glow worm is never glum… Because, how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Don't look out of the window; People will think that it's Halloween
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
“Law of Drunkenness”You can’t fall off the floor.
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Well that was fun.
My three year old fell today and possibly sprained his ankle. All day he has been crawling around the house. It looks fine so if he's still not walking on it tomorrow I will take him in. Boys. Why are they always so destructive?
Its a frickn blizzard out today. Middle December weather on March 8. What a bunch of crap. At least I don't have to drive in it.
So after reading Nora Robert's Island Trilogy, I have been getting into the Craft stuff again. I don't like the whole spells, and shit, but I love the nature and philosophy of the religion. It has always spoken to me. I have psychic ability. I have not refined it, but I have always known its there. Its creepy sometimes to know things are going to happen before they do.
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