It has been four years since I have seen my brother and four years before that. The last time I really knew him he was knee high and a sweet little boy. He is visiting for a couple days, and at 17 years old he has grown into a 6 foot punk kid. I say this with love and saddness at how he turned out. He is on probation and has been smoking and drinking and not acting responsibly, not that there has been anyone to watch out for him and teach him wrong from right. His mother would be so heart broken if she could see her son now. He has no job, doesnt live in any particular place, and has little chance of graduating high school. He seems not to care. I can see all the shitty deals life has dealt him and am not too suprised where he has ended up in life. I wish it didnt have to turn out this way and that someone would have gave a damn for him when he was 7 years old and his mother died. I was a rebellious and hurt teenager myself at that time and had no control over what happened and the fact that he moved so far away, back to his dad's. It is depressing. Even more now that I have a son of my own and see all the dangers that await his growing up. I know there will be temptations, peer pressure, social norms, and just the adolescent stage that will try to corrupt him. Hopefully my husband and I can give him enough support and love and discipline to keep him safe.
I was at a park with my kids yesterday and some older boys playing. They were pretending to buy beer and get drunk and they were swearing like no 7 or 8 year old I have seen! I dont want to shelter my kids from this stuff...they will find out about the real world eventually and I want them to be prepared. But I hope I can teach them while exposing them to all that shit. (Alcohol, drugs, swearing, internet, bullying, there seems to be so much danger and bad shit in the world and I dont want my kids participating in any of it.)