Kids and Scattered Toys

Since no one will bother to read this blog anyway I suppose I can let you into the craziness of my mind. Beware, I ramble and hop from topic to topic.

So I am sitting at home right now, suprise suprise, watching my bestfriend's girl's. Four kids running around screaming and terroizing my house, I feel like cowering in a corner or something. Not really, but I am sitting on this computer to try to escape.
Watching them dump all those toys out and empty every toy box is driving me nuts. I want to follow behind them and put everything away where it belongs and not let them touch it again. But I know they wont learn responsibility if I clean up after them all the time, and I cant not let them play with any toys just because the mess is irritating me. So tonight when the girls leave and I have my two kids in bed, I will come back downstairs and clean, organize, and make sure everything is in its place leaving less time for me. I will stay up anyway to enjoy the peace and quiet, then realize at 1 am that it is so late and I will go to bed dreading the morning. Even though the kids will still have me up at 6 or 7 depending on how early they wake up.

Oh boy the kids are back up stairs. I better go referree....


Ok Im back. So even though I know it is pointless to clean up behind the kids, I cant seem to stop myself from doing it. I know its exhausting and much like pushing a large boulder up a steep hill, but I cant help it. All those toys scattered all over the floor, cars mixed with dolls mixed with animals. It drives me nuts. I have to put them back in their own boxes and bins.

interesting and random pictures

daily life of cleaning and housework..never ending..no wonder us women are exhuasted by 8pm

a referre by day..kids think they are pro wrestlers or something

Zen

Zen Thoughts

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaky tyre.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...
Then things get worse.

25. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

26. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

27. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.

29. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

30. The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory.

Shitisms

Shitisms

1. Taoism: Shit happens. If you can shit, it isn't shit. Shit happens, so flow
with it.

2. Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding. She-it happens, She-it
happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one
with she-it). Please this flower and buy our shit.

3. Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit happens". Confucious says, "If shit has
to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."

4. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. If shit happens, it isn't
really happening TO anyone. Shit will happen again to you next time.

5. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

6. Sixth Day Adventism: Shit happens on Saturdays.

7. Hinduism: I've seen this shit happening before. This shit is not a
religion, it is the way of life. This shit happening IS you.

8. Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else. If shit
happens, praise the lord for it!

9. Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

10. Episcopalianism: If shit happens, hold a procession.

11. Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

12. Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

13. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it. You were born shit, you are
shit, and you will die shit.

14. Charismatic Catholicism: Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we
love you anyway.

15. Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US? Why does shit always happen
just before closing the deal?

16. Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?

17. Islam: If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah. If shit happens, take
a hostage. We don't take any shit.

18. Nation of Islam: Don't take no shit!

19. New Age: That's not shit, it's feldspar. A firm shit does not happen to me.
This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate. I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honor it and share it. Sheeeeeeeeeeit! Were all part of
the same shit. For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

20. Wicca: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more. The Goddess makes
shit happen.

21. Jehovah's Witnesses: No shit happens until Armaggedon. There is only a
limited amount of good shit. Knock Knock, "Shit Happens." Here, we insist
you take our shit. Shit happens door to door.

22. Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

23. Darwinism: Survival of the shittiest.

24. Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray. Shit
doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it. Our shit will take
care of itself. Shit happens in your mind.

25. Atheism: I don't believe this shit! It looks and smells like shit, so I'm
damned if I'm going to taste it. Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead. No shit!

26. Religion from an Atheist's point of view: I haven't smelt, seen, touched,
or tasted it. But it's shit.

27. Agnosticism: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm
not sure whether its shit or not. What is this shit?! How can we KNOW if
shit happens? You can't prove any of this shit!

28. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! Hey, this is good shit, mon.

29. Mormonism: If shit happens, shun it. Excrement happens. (you can't say
'shit' in Utah) Hey, there's more shit happening over here! Our shit is
better than your shit. Shit happens again & again & again ...

30. Energizer Bunny: Shit happens and happens and happens and ...

Bet you'll never see these in Hallmark

Greeting Cards You Will Never See in the Hallmark Store

1. Front: I heard you have gone deaf.
Inside: I'll bet you didn't.

2. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have gone blind.
Inside: See you later, you fucking bastard!

3. Front: I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead.
Inside: It's really not that bad when you think about it.

4. Front: My sympathies on the last of your father's teeth falling out.
Inside: Well, dadgummit!

5. Front: My condolences on the loss of your arms.
Inside: Write back soon!

6. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.
Inside: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.

7. Front: I heard that you were very sick.
Inside: I hope that you die painlessly.

8. Front: I heard you were dead.
Inside: I hope it was painless.

9. Front: I heard your whole family got shot.
Inside: So I turned up the volume on the stereo.

10. Front: Congratulations on your first period!
Inside: Let's go out and paint the town red!

11. Front: Thank God you aren't pregnant!
Inside: I might have had to admit I've had sex with *you*.

12. Front: I heard that you attempted suicide.
Inside: Wishing you luck and success in all that you do.

13. Front: After all these years, it was good to run into you again.
Inside: Thank God this time you didn't leave as much blood on my bumper!

14. Front: I was sorry to hear that your dog ran away.
Inside: Next time try cooking him a little longer.

15. Front: They told me you were constipated.
Inside: No shit?

16. Front: Wishing you a speedy recovery from your accident.
Inside: Look forward to seeing you in court!

17. Front: Get well soon.
Inside: I am sick of walking two miles to get water.

18. Front: Congratulations on finally getting a life.
Inside: Now get ready to lose it.

19. Front: Hot damn!
Inside: I'm sorry to hear that your house burned down.

20. Front: Congratulations on your weight loss!
Inside: It's a shame you had to saw off your legs to do it.

21. Front: When life deals you a hard blow...
Inside: So can I, big boy.

FDA Beer Warnings

FDA Beer Warnings

1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering,
when you are not.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and
over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at 4am.

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to
your pants.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with
members of the opposite sex.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on
the forehead.

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named BO.

12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.

15. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

maintaining insanity...

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.

3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Automatic e-mail reply messages

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get theposition. Be prepared for my mood.

2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that Imay be promoted to management.

5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until Ireturn from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in theorder it was received.

6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first tenwords and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliverthis message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

8. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

9. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You arecurrently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

10. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
window.google_render_ad();

11. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

12. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any
messages.

13. I've run away to join a different circus.

14. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return,
please refer to me as "Loretta" instead of "Steve."

How can you live without knowing these things?

1. Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...
Ladies Forbidden" ... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
2. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma
Flintstone.
3. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
4. Men can read smaller print better than women can; women can hear better.
5. Coca-Cola was originally green.
6. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
7. The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
8. The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
9. The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
10. The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
11. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
12. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
13. The youngest pope was 11 years old.
14. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
15. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
16. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar
17. A cute mathematical trick: 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
18. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, theperson died in battle.If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of woundsreceived in battle.If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
19. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock andCharles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn'tadded until 5 years later.
20. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?Their birthplace21. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? Obsession
22. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would findthe letter "A"?One thousand
23. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers allhave in common?All invented by women.
24. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?Honey
25. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?Father's Day
26. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When youpulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hencethe phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."
27. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after thewedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he coulddrink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this periodwas called the honey month... which we know today as the honeymoon.
28. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, whencustomers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts,and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."
29. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, orhandle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle toget some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
30. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Confucius Say.....

Confucius Say…

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.Man who sit on tack get point!Man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion!Man stuck in pantry have ass in jam.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who have last laugh, not get joke
Squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts.
A flower goes through much dirt before it blooms.
Piss in wind, wind piss back.Man who put cream in tart, not always a baker.

Sybil

Just finished watching Sybil for the first time. This movie was pretty good but for a time when psychoanalytical therapy was in its pioneer stages I expected to see alot more resistance from Sybil and the public. I would have liked to see more of the personalities and maybe some of her earlier years and how the personalities developed. But for a hollywood movie it was pretty good.

Consequence of Drinking and Driving

This letter was shown to me in a class. I also lost someone close to me from a drunk driver and it amazed me to see a letter from the actual drunk driver. It is good to see that he feels remorse for his actions, but more importantly I think this letter could go a long way in touching teenagers who drink. This letter was very clear in showing how drinkers begin to feel "comfortable" drinking and then "comfortable getting in a car with a drunk driver, and then feeling comfortable driving while drunk. So many teenagers think nothing will happen and its their choice but they dont think about who may be killed or hurt when they drink and drive. They dont understand that it can happen, and sooner or later will.

Friends, Family, Coaches - please read the letterthat a Former Kiel High grad wrote about his alcohol experiences....We all like to "relax" with a drink with friends, but hopefully by reading this letter we realize what can happen if we go overboard! Feel free to use the letter in any form or fashion you deem fit - forward it on - make copies for your students, whatever it takes.....it is what his mother in her original e-mail asked for us to do.....

----Where do I begin? Why is someone reading aloud a letter I wrote?
Why aren’t I there in person to tell you my story? I’ll get to that later! First
I’d like you to know who I am, my name is Jeff Niesen, I’m 29 years old, grew up
in a small town named Kiel. I was an only child, but grew up in a good home with
two parents that loved me.
As you’ve probably guessed, this letter has something to do with drinking
or drugs or some kind of addiction. Yet I don’t have a sob story for you, as I
said I was raised in a good home with parents that didn’t drink or do drugs. No,
this didn’t cause me to rebel and sneak out of school to smoke pot or drink. In
fact it was quite the opposite. I was a good student, definitely not the
valedictorian, but got A’s and B’s. Sports were a really big part of my
childhood and that followed through high school and even into college. I was
fortunate enough to be the quarterback of our football team and a four year
starter on the Varsity basketball team. I’ve been out of high school going on
eleven years now, but somehow I still manage to hold many of the schools
basketball scoring records. None of those records matter, I’d just like you to
know I was a “Normal” kid, maybe even a “Good” kid! The stereotypical “Jock” or
“Prep” whatever you want to call it. You get the picture?
My first drink came when I was a junior in high school. Yeah, I got drunk,
but nothing bad happened and it was a pretty good time. Like I said, sports were
a big part of my life and I didn’t want to jeopardize them so drinking wasn’t a
regular thing for me. If I drank, it was with a few friends at a safe place, and
we always intended on staying at that safe place, definitely NO drinking and
driving. We were drinking as responsibly as 17 and 18 year olds can I guess.
After high school, a good college offered me a chance to be a part of their
basketball team. Some of you know what it’s like to leave home at 18 to attend
college. It’s a pretty cool time in a young person’s life. You have total
freedom and no real responsibility, other than school.
To say I embraced the college “party” life style would be a bit of an
understatement. Sure I had classes and basketball from August until the end of
May, but I always found time to party. Sometime in between partying and classes,
we even managed to win a National Championship my freshman year. It was pretty
neat to be a part of that.
Life seemed to be going pretty damn well. My grades were still good,
basketball couldn’t really get any better. Maybe that’s why I didn’t notice that
my drinking was getting out of control. After all, what are the signs you have a
problem? Grades slipping, losing friends, people concerned about you, right?
That wasn’t me. When I reflect on that time now though, it pains me to see how
foolish I was. Seeing if I could do a keg stand for a minute or two straight,
slamming a whole pitcher of beer, or seeing if I could do 21 shots on my 21st
birthday.
Those first years in college were when the black outs really began. I’d
wake up in my dorm room with absolutely no idea of how I got back the night
before. It was like a game, trying to piece together the night.
One time we were on spring break, in Cancun, and I decided to ditch my
friends and see what fun I could find by myself that night. Luckily, I have some
pretty good friends. When they got back to our hotel at 4 AM and I wasn’t there,
one of my buddies got worried and went looking for me. He found me, on the
beach, about a mile from our hotel passed out in a chair, half frozen to death.
That ocean breeze gets cold at night. What was I doing there? Don’t ask me, I
have no idea. I don’t remember going there. I don’t remember anything before he
woke me up. We had to piece together my night by the receipts I had in my
pocket.
There are so many things that could’ve or maybe should’ve happened to me
that night or countless other nights for that matter. But there was always an
excuse. That night it was, “It’s Mexico, Spring Break! WHO CARES! Everyone does
that!” I really believed most other people experienced the same black outs that
I did when I drank. Like I said earlier, so foolish.
After two years of playing college basketball, I grew tired of it and
wanted more from my education. So I transferred to a small, private, business
college, in West Palm Beach, Florida. Looking back, this is where things really
started to get out of control. This school didn’t have a basketball team, so all
I had to do was go to school and party. The grades still came easy for me, and I
was 1200 miles from home, so no one had any idea I was hitting the clubs at
least five, but usually six or seven nights a week. There are all kinds of wild
stories that involve drinking and jumping off the University library into a
pond, waking up in random places with no idea of how I got there. But I never
got mixed up with drugs! I was raised being told drugs were bad. Drugs were
addictive. Drugs destroy lives. Drugs scared me and thankfully I never
experimented with them. How ironic is it that I didn’t realize alcohol was doing
the same thing in my life? All be it slowly, alcohol was still playing a
destructive role in my life. But because things weren’t falling apart, I thought
everything was fine.
At 23, I graduated and moved back to Wisconsin. My uncle owns a large and
successful automotive group. My degree is Automotive Marketing Management. You
could say I went to school to be a car dealer. At 24, I was the managing partner
of his Chrysler dealerships. It was a small dealership, but I was proud of the
accomplishments we were able to achieve in a very short time. I moved into a
brand new house, was able to travel all around the world, the sky really seemed
to be the limit.
Unfortunately, I never got rid of the college “party” life style. Now
it became a “work hard, play hard” life style. Was I late for work sometimes
because I was out the night before? Yep! But I was the boss and didn’t really
have set hours. And like I said, we had taken a failing business and made it
successful in less than a year. I realize now, successful or not, my example was
still that of an irresponsible party boy. My drinking black outs continued.
Luckily for me, one of my college buddies moved in with me, and he was always
the designated driver. I’d wake up on the couch or in my bed, not remembering
getting home. Yet I knew I didn’t drive, Ryan was ALWAYS my designated
driver.
In November 2006, Ryan bought his own home, and moved out of mine. My
weekends still consisted of hitting the local bars with friends, and the
occasional trip to Chicago or Las Vegas. In small town Wisconsin, when you go to
the bars, there’s usually only one way home. Cabs aren’t an option. They don’t
exist in towns with small populations. You need to make plans ahead of time for
a designated driver, plan a place to stay, or chance the drive home. My
designated driver didn’t live with me anymore. Depending on the destination, we
still had a designated driver from time to time. And sometimes we would crash at
each others houses, depending upon which city we were drinking in. And yes,
sometimes we would chance it and drive home. I’m not proud of that, but it’s the
truth!
Remember when I talked about when we first started drinking, and we
always had a plan where we were staying? Drinking and driving wasn’t an option.
For me drinking was kind of like learning to walk. You take baby steps. At first
because you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re afraid of the unknown. As time
went by, I became more familiar with what it felt like to be drunk, and less
afraid of what lie ahead. I guess you could say it was like a false sense of
confidence.
So the first time I rode in a car with a driver who had been drinking, it
was really scary because I thought maybe the person was going to crash, and we’d
all die. But we didn’t. Nothing happened. We made it home safely. The baby steps
were starting all over. I thought “maybe it was ok to ride with someone who had
been drinking as long as they weren’t “TOO BAD”. Everyone probably knows this
led to my first time behind the wheel after drinking. Again I was scared of what
might happen. Mostly though, I was afraid of getting a DUI. I’m a good driver,
and would NEVER get into a crash, and so the baby steps began. I went from
getting behind the wheel scared of getting a DUI, to confident I could drive
“JUST FINE”. And I never did get a DUI.
Not until February 11, 2007. It was a Sunday and I met up with some
friends at a local bar for a youth baseball fundraiser. Naturally, we were
drinking beer, but for some reason decided we should mix shots with the beer.
The fundraiser was over by 5:30 or 6:00, and I decided it was time to head for
home. Rather than do that, I met up with some friends at the next bar. I don’t
know if the shots finally caught up with me or what exactly happened, but once
again, I was on my way to a blackout.
The people I was with at the bar said “I didn’t seem that bad.”
However, I remember very little of that last bar. I remember walking into the
bar. I remember using the ATM, but everything else is really hazy. When I woke
up, I was in the drivers seat of my car and quite confused. I had no idea where
I was, or how I got there. When I opened my driver’s side door and got out, I
realized my car was in a very deep ditch, a few miles from that last bar. BUT I
WAS FINE! No injuries. I thought I must have driven, fallen asleep, and ran down
into the ditch. I was essentially in the middle of nowhere, and relieved there
seemed to be no one around. My first instinct was to get away from my car, to
avoid getting a DUI, just in case someone saw my car and called the
police.
So I began jogging down the road. When I reached for my cell phone to
call a friend, I realized I didn’t have it with me. There was a car coming
towards me, so it was too late to turn back. I continued on, and short cut
across a field. Parts of my jog are hazy as well. Some things I remember, and
others seem to be just completely lost. I wish I could remember it all, maybe
then it would all make sense. But I was just TOO DRUNK. MY BAC was just too
high!
Eventually I came upon a house, and stopped to use their phone. I called my
buddy Ryan, who at one time was my full time designated driver to pick me up.
After only a few short words, the call was disconnected. I spotted a police car
slowly driving down the highway. The car came to a stop near the end of the
driveway I stood in. It’s February, I was soaked from head to toe, freezing
cold, and tired of running. I handed the home owner his phone back, and walked
down the driveway towards the police car. I’d had enough. Time to get my first
DUI I figured. It sucked, but it definitely wasn’t the worst thing that could
happen. The police officer was very courteous, and almost concerned for my
health. I didn’t fight him, it was time to face the music. He put me in his
squad car, and drove me back to the area where my car was.
There were red and blue emergency lights all over the place. My car wasn’t
visible from where we parked, but I thought they were definitely over reacting.
Before the officer got me out of the car to do the field sobriety tests, another
officer opened my door and asked, “Was there anyone else with you in the car?”
Do you know the feeling you get right as you crest the top of the roller coaster
and start to plunge towards the earth? Your stomach seems to shoot somewhere up
near your throat, and it makes you unable to breathe. That’s the feeling I got
right then.
A million thoughts raced through my mind as the officer stared at me.
I thought to myself, “Who else was with me? Oh my god there wasn’t anyone in my
car when I woke up. Was one of my friends ejected?” I didn’t remember leaving
the bar. I didn’t remember getting behind the wheel. So how could I even know
for sure, if someone was with me or not? All these thoughts were processed in
just a second or two by my intoxicated brain. Reluctantly, I replied to the
officer, “No, I was by myself.” At that exact moment I didn’t even know for sure
if I was by myself. I think more than anything, I just wanted to BELIEVE I was
by myself, and that no one was injured.
The officer asked me, “Where were you going?” “We were going to
Schwarz’s I replied.” Schwarz’s is a supper club, my friends and I would
frequent almost every Sunday night. This Sunday, being no exception. My friends
wanted to head to Schwarz’s. They made plans to go there while at the last bar.
One of the last things I remember was telling them I wasn’t going. But from
where my car was in the ditch, it’s the only place I could’ve been going. My
home was 20 miles in the exact OPPOSITE direction.
Now the officer says, “We? You just said you were by yourself?” And
my natural response was, “I was but I was meeting some friends there.” Then the
cops asked, “Are the people in the other car your friends?” The description of
the roller coaster and your stomach dropping out, doesn’t even compare to the
horror I felt at that exact moment. No words can describe it. This police
officer just asked me if the people in the other car were my friends. What other
car was he talking about? When I got out of my car, it was pitch black, and my
car was the only one I saw. All I could utter to him was, “What other
car?”
With that he slammed the door shut, and disappeared into the darkness. I
was left all alone, to try to figure out just what in the hell he was talking
about. The rest of this night drags on for many hours. I could try and describe
the details but they’re foggy. I thought I was running from a DUI when I left my
car that night. But the DA didn’t believe me. So I was charged with OWI
Homicide, and Hit and Run Resulting In Death which the judge found me guilty of
also.
The “people” in the other car the police officer asked me about was
actually a 21 year old college student, heading back to school after a weekend
with her family. She died instantly, when my car rear ended hers going between
78-84 miles per hour. She was just leaving a stop sign, and only estimated to be
going between 5 and 15 miles per hour. The circumstances of the crash, where it
happened, how it happened, still don’t make any sense to me. But I’m not writing
this to try and explain to you how this happened, and why I’m not guilty of the
hit and run charge.
I’m writing this hoping that not one of you can relate in the least little
bit to anything I wrote. If you can’t relate, that means you don’t go out
partying with friends and over do it. If you can’t relate, that means you always
have a designated driver, or you always take a cab. If you can’t relate, that
means you’ve never woke up wondering just what you did the night before. And
best of all, if you can’t relate, that means you never have and NEVER will get
behind the wheel after drinking. Regardless if it’s after one beer, or one shot,
or even just a couple drinks. Because I’m afraid you’d end up growing
comfortable, and then getting behind the wheel after just ONE MORE than the last
time you drank and drove. I’m also writing this with the hope that all who can
relate to my story, will learn from it.
A beautiful, 21 year old, young woman, who had a very bright future,
is dead because of a series of bad decisions I made. Bad decisions that night?
YES OF COURSE. But I think it’s more a series of bad decisions I made from the
time I was 17 until I was 27. I never should’ve left my house that afternoon,
knowing full well I would be drinking at the fundraiser. But I think those baby
steps I made, made me comfortable. The thought of not going, never even crossed
my mind. I wish I were there so you could see the pain in my face, hear it in my
voice. Someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s girlfriend, isn’t here
because of me. That’s a tough pill to swallow. I hope and pray that none of you
have to go through a similar experience.
The reason my family has to be my voice today is because I’m writing this
letter from my prison cell in the Dodge Correctional Institution. I was
sentenced to spend 10 years of my life in prison, followed by 15 years of
probation after that. I’m allowed 3 visits a week from friends and family and
four 15 minute outgoing phone calls a week, please don’t take your freedom for
granted.
In conclusion, a smart person learns from his mistakes. But a wise
person learns from the mistakes of others. This is a real problem in Wisconsin,
and it doesn’t always just happen to the people with 2, 3, 4 prior OWI’s.
Sometimes you get a wake up call, and sometimes you don’t. Please be wise…learn
from my mistake.

Alcohol

You got to love this excerpt from a state senator addressing Mississippi legislature, 1958:

"If, when you say whisky, you mean the devil's brew, the poison scourge,
the bloody monster that defiles innocence, yea, literally takes the bread from
the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the
Christian man and woman from the pinnacles of righteous, gracious living into
the bottomless pit of degradation and despair, shame and helplessness and
hopelessness, then certainly I am against it with all of my power.
But, if when you say whisky, you mean the oil of conversation, the
philosophic wine, the stuff that is consumed when good fellows get together,
that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips and the warm glow of
contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the
stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty
morning; if you mean the drink that enables a man to magnify his joy and his
happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life's great tragedies and
hearbreaks and sorrows; if you mean the drink, the sale of which pours into out
treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for
our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged
and infirm, to build highways, hospitals and schools, then certainly I am in
favor of it."

There are so many things I would like to say about this. First of all this is so typical of politics, they can never really choose a side, especially when it will take money away from them. Secondly, its amazing to see the difference in the way people talked back then, thinking it was appropriate and correct. "Crippled, dumb, pitiful, and infirm," these words would not even be thought now days in fear of getting hit by some activist. Not to mention they are degrading and incorrect terms. Thats all for now, but I will leave you with this...

Alcohol remains the one mood-altering substance viewed with consideral ambivalence by the American public (Stimmel, Barry. Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, and the Road to Recovery: life on the edge).