Sunday, March 15, 2009

Trying to Quit

So after nine years of smoking and numerous attempts at quitting, I am now determined to quit for good! Cigs are going up another buck, which means they will be almost 7 dollars a pack if not more. In a month I am starting all my dental work so I am setting that date for my goal.

I hate the battle that goes on inside of me when I start to crave a smoke and know that I CAN quit, but I just need a damn smoke! I know I can do it. I just have to keep putting off having a smoke, and eventually it will be a week, month, year, and I will no longer physically crave a smoke. I know I may never stop mentally craving them, but I NEED to quit. I dont want to be smoking when my kids are old enough to understand what I am doing and start to ask me about it. I dont want to stink like them anymore. I want to improve the health of my teeth and lungs. I am not happy about aging (not that anyone is) and smoking is just going to make me age faster. I want to be able to do physical activity without gasping for breath and I want to be free of this smoker's cough. I dont want to end up with a Barb's voice, she's a neighbor that seriously sounds like an old man, yet she is a woman!

So once again I am going to refer to the serenity prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference!