1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get theposition. Be prepared for my mood.
2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that Imay be promoted to management.
5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until Ireturn from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in theorder it was received.
6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first tenwords and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliverthis message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
8. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
9. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You arecurrently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
10. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.
11. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
12. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any
13. I've run away to join a different circus.
14. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return,
please refer to me as "Loretta" instead of "Steve."